The Feminist and The Cowboy was a witty, fun book that brings you through an era where women thought that submitting to a man was giving up their own identity to the present when submitting to man can be your one chance at true love and happiness. ~ Guilty Pleasures
The bestselling author of The Dirty GirlsSocial Club returns with a provocative and controversial memoir about how a sexy cowboy turned her feminist beliefs upside down.
Feminism was a religion in Alisa Valdes’s childhood home, and her hippie Marxist parents raised her to believe that she was meant for better things than playing with Barbies. Instead, she read Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem. At twenty-two Valdes was named one of the top feminist writers under thirty.
Yet despite her professional success, Valdes hit forty-two bitter, divorced, and a serial dater of inadequate men in tweed jackets. Realizing that her upbringing had sabotaged her personal happiness, she embarks on a soul-searching journey and ends up falling head over spurs in love with the Cowboy, a conservative rancher who drives a pickup with a pistol under the front seat.
From their first date the Cowboy makes her pulse race, and she discovers that “when men . . . act like men rather than like emasculated boys, you as a woman will find not only great pleasure in submitting to them but also great growth as a person.”
This controversial book will spark heated national debate, but THE FEMINIST AND THE COWBOY will also delight the many readers who made The Pioneer Woman a bestseller—not to mention every woman who dreams of being swept away by a rugged cowboy
Well, this is a first. Maybe not for the Guilty Pleasures Blog, but definitely for me. I normally will not read any kind of autobiography mainly because I really don’t want to read about other people’s problems or hear how wonderful their lives are. I love to loose myself in fantasy – to picture myself as the strong, sexy woman and falling in love with that cowboy, vampire, were-wolf, or dom. But, something about The Feminist and The Cowboy called to me and I am really glad I read the book. Ms. Valdez’s writing was crisp and and she honestly made everything very interesting. Now, am I a little disappointed that the cowboy wouldn’t let her elaborate on her sex life – definitely – he sounds so wonderful, interesting and sexy that anyone would want the down and dirty.
Especially if it is real life and really happening. Then again, maybe he didn’t want to make the rest of us jealous.
Ms. Valdez is a divorced, single mom. Like a lot of us are or were until we met “him”. She’s lonely, confused and most definitely outspoken. A Feminist through and through and she makes sure anyone and everyone knows it. She’s combative to the point where she has messed up every good relationship, both personal and working, that she ends up having to move back in with her domineering, controlling, self-absorbed father. I guess the part that surprised me the most was that she was a writer, a very successful writer of YA books and has been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. But, because of her views, her fan-based dwindled down to nothing and she lost/quit every job that she had. Her son is totally dependent upon her, her mother left her and her father and sowed her wild oats, her ex-husband (bless his soul) is finally moving on with his life after years of her domineering him and then there’s the father – her main problem.
Now, enter “The Cowboy”. No, she does not reveal his name in the book. He is always referred to as “The Cowboy”. Well, lucky her! A hard-working, ex-model, truck driver and now rancher who is a “Dom” at heart if not in real life. Did I want to slap him upside of the head at times during the book? Oh, most definitely! His way or the highway was his motto. But, you know what – Alisa needed what he gave her and he knew it. He didn’t give an inch, he ignored her, pointed out her faults as well as her good points, laid it on the line and then loved her like there was no tomorrow. He taught her how to handle her father, how to make her son less dependent upon her, how to stand up for what she believed without being the over-bearing, obnoxious person that drove people away from her. He man-handled her both emotionally and physically but he taught her how to trust and love again and I give him kudos for that.
The Feminist and The Cowboy is a wild ride through a time that I both remember and, am happy to admit, I was never truly involved in. Yes, I believe in woman’s rights, I even tell my husband that I didn’t need him before and I don’t need him now, but, I WANT him in my life. There’s a difference. I love when he opens the door for me, when he offers to help with the housework, when he cooks dinner. I think it sets a wonderful example for our sons to see that Dad isn’t just sitting around expecting to be waited on hand and foot and is willing to be “there” for me. And, also for my sons to see that I am still an independent woman that does not always depend on the “man” for everything in my life. It took a lot of convincing on the part of “The Cowboy” to get Alisa to see that for herself.
So, yes, I enjoyed the book. It was nice reliving those days when the name “Gloria Steinem” put fear into the eyes of men and when woman stood up for what they believed in. But, I would never have gone to the extremes that Ms. Valdez did. Now, I know that most of you are too young to remember or even know about the woman’s movement but you can thank people like Alisa for opening a lot of doors for us today. This book was refreshing, witty and a fun read. It was written with a little bit of humor (her description of her dates were hysterical) and lots of deep, inner thoughts. I give her a lot of credit for admitting to her faults, for seeing herself for how she was, for finally submitting to “The Cowboy” and giving herself up to him and be willing to change for “love” even if all that she ever knew was being threatened. I wish Alisa and “The Cowboy” many happy and fulfilling years together and honestly hope that they both get their Happily Ever After. God knows that “The Cowboy” deserves it and Alisa has earned it.