I was thinking in preparation for this blog post about guilty pleasures and I tried to figure out what my guiltiest pleasure is. I had a good case going for chocolate. Then for naps. And for a while as I surfed Lainey Gossip I realized that my love of trashy internet gossip sites probably wasn’t something that I wanted to get out to all and sundry. So I had a wealth of ideas and was narrowing them down. Great right? Just the place that you want to be when you’re blog post writing.
Then, just as I set fingers to keys Youngest started to grunt and we made a mad dash for the bathroom. There, between rounds of the ABC Song and Twinkle Twinkle Please Learn to Use the Toilet Already, I looked around me and realized what my real guilty pleasure is. I, my friends, am a beauty product junkie. No really, sitting there on the edge of the bathtub I realized that there isn’t a body scrub, face mask, hair treatment, or lip gloss that I don’t own at least a sample version of. I have 15 different body lotions. One of which (chocolate cake smelling) is in a whip cream can and another is a spray on mist. I don’t even remember buying the spray on mist lotion.
My knees go weak at the thought of going through the beauty section of my local grocery store and I fantasize about reasons that I need to drive 2 ½ hours to the enormous mall north of my house so that I can go to places like Sephora and Bath and Body Works. I stare at the Perfumania web page like it’s porn.
Sure I could make the comment that it doesn’t hurt that I want to take care of my skin and look nice. I mean most of my lotions have some form of SPF so in short aren’t I being mindful about preventing skin cancer? And my lipgloss prevents me from getting chapped lips—think about the money I’ve diverted from chap stick into tubes of glittery pink and peach gloss that make my thin lips look oh so kissable.
The real problem with this addiction though is that it doesn’t fit with my lifestyle. It’s not that I am an addict that’s a problem. It’s that it sticks out in my current lifestyle. Because you see I’m a full time writer. I live in pajama pants and t-shirts. If it weren’t for the fact that Oldest requires chauffeuring to school and other activities and there is no grocery delivery service in my little backwater town I would probably never even leave my house. The mailbox would be my daily adventure. The only living things that would recognize me in a police line up in this neighborhood are my immediate family and my dogs. But I would have amazingly glossy and well conditioned hair if anyone cared to notice.
That doesn’t change my guilty pleasure in the girl goop (as my hubby calls it). Come Saturday night, when the kids are in bed, you’ll still find me chin deep in exotically scented bubbles, my face covered in some form of mud, with some sort of conditioning-shine enhancing-fly away curing junk on my hair, with a romance novel in my hand and a glass of red wine sitting on the ledge. Because looking around my bathroom now, hours after my impromptu sing-a-long, I realize that’s the best part of guilty pleasures – they’re the things you need even if they don’t make any sense. And for me, that guilty pleasure just might be skin lotion in a whipped cream can.
Luck of the Devil Blurb
Being the youngest daughter of the Devil isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Teenage rebellions and vows of chastity made just to upset dear old Dad are long in the past, and now all Faith wants is a nice, quiet life and a week-long vacation spent watching reruns. Unfortunately, thanks to the unexpected arrival of her demonically-downsized sister, a ditzy succubus roommate, and a surprise visit from dear old dad, those hopes seems to be going up in flames. Now it’s all Faith can do to keep the family reunion from Hell (literally) under wraps and the angelically-inclined hottie across the hall from realizing there’s something weird about his neighbor. And, thankfully, it’s working. Until an angelic stalker shows up in a bid to steal her powers and take over the world. Forget watching reruns, with the way things are going, Faith will need the luck of the Devil just to survive until work next Monday.
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